Hey again! yay, im gonna go back to writing everyday!! :)
well today was eh-ish. i woke up to being informed that my dad actually paid for child support this month!! he gave us $200!!! :O doesnt sound like much but you know my dad, he doesnt pay any money. at all. ever. haha so my mom was like, "lets go shopping!" so we got ready and were headed off to ontario mills to go to Hollister<3 i was very happy. but while we were on the freeway, she put on some oldies music. i made a couple jokes about it and she got really mad at me. then she started crying. and i felt so so bad. so she turned around and we went back home:( but she just dropped us off and left. she was gone for like 2 hours. i didnt even know where she was. but while she was gone, i made her cupcakes that said 'i <3 u' and put them on a plate with 2 licorices bent to look like hearts. she was happier:)
ohmygosh! so did i tell you my mom had a friend named silvana?? pronounced just like my name, just with an 'i'. but anyways, she has a license plate that says 'sylvana' and when i was 5, her and her husband promised me that if i kept up my good grades and when i was old enough to drive, i could have the plate! well my mom found her on facebook! and silvana messaged her saying that its all mine! my mom called the dmv and they said she just has to fill out a couple of forms and itll be all mine!! ahhh im so excited!! :D haha
well, my brothers going home tomorrow:( ugh its gonna be sad saying bye:(
hmmm i have a early soccer game so i should go to sleep.
text me so we can plan a day VERY SOON to hang out!! cause i know youre back in cali and im dying to hang out with my bestfriend again:(
love you kayden!! <3
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Hello Again!
Dear Bestest Friend Kayden,
Im so very sorry ive been slacking up on this. idk why considering i havent done ANYTHING this summer! while youre out traveling the world! haha i hope thats working out great for you(: ii cant go to sleep. i just got all teary-eyed cause my mind flashed back to your last day of school and how sad i was:/ then youre party:( aww. i cant believe youre leaving. whyd i have to meet you in your SENIOR year?? thats so lame/: well i know ive already made you promise this but promise me you wont forget about me back here in boring old victorville while youre out living your life? okay thats wrong cause im moving in january. to upland/alta loma! can you believe it?? im so excited, you have no idea! im going to go to a regularrrr school! with regularrr clothes:D and a homecoming! and a football team! and ahhhhh!!(: haha
umm well my brothers in town!! it was great seeing him after like 5 years! it was like meeting him for the first time cause we've both changed so much since we were 10! obviously. lol he's such a dork kayden. i would imagine you 2 would get along. hes just like me, except in boy version. hes weird and funny and odd and akward at times and always happy and random and lots of fun! (: i love that kid! but hes going home in 2 days:( already...
anyways, so now to my forever-lasting boy problems. like always, haha. okay well me&missa do not talk. like ever. and when we do, im like super shortworded and boring and idk why. but he notices it. i havent talked to him on the phone for a week. i think im afraid of what will be said. mmm idk. i hate when i think i like a boy so much, then its just gone. i hate that about myself kayden. whats wrong with me?? grrrrr.
umm so ive been talking a whole bunch to mitchell. hes a sweetheart and its weird cause he acts more like a boyfriend than missa does. but anyways, hes like a really good friend now and im really happy about that. cause you know me, i hate having girl friends:p lol but yeah, he makes me laugh alot. over text! which is really rare(:
hm me&domo are really good friends again! i was kinda getting worried that summer was making us grow apart but we're good again. we talk alot again so im pretty happy:)
and okay so this whole thing happened at johannas quince with this guy, armando. like i told him nothing was happening cause he lives down the hill and it just wouldnt work. and he said he understood. apparently he does not>:/ because im pretty sure he has sam and natasha sympathizing for him. and it annoys me so bad. like hes really sweet and all, when i post mad statuses on facebook he'll ask me whats wrong. and he'll dedicate songs to me and stuff. but hes doing exactly what i told him shouldnt happen! urg.
well, im debating on my car right now. i was going to get a white lexus, but the gas is super expensive! but it also would fit 5 people. so i could take my sisters places and stuff. or im getting a white MR2 which would be great! the gas would be amazingly cheap and its a really nice car but it only fits 2 and i would need to fit at least 3! hmm idk. both of the cars are practically mine already. my nanas lexus and my dads MR2:) great cars if you ask me. then again, we cant all have bmw's mr.richy rich:P lol
oh one of my really close friends juan ortiz, i think you remember stories ive told you about him (he was trying to get at me while i was talking to france then he got a gf and stuff?) lol, yeah well hes going to UCR so you should look after him for me! hes a troublemaker! aha
oh gosh kayden, it just hit me. that dumbass (forgive my language) francisco is gonna be in asb next year. with me. without you. who am i supposed to talk to next to the cupboard?? whos gonna tell it to 'shhh shhh' when it gets too loud?? who am i supposed to tell all my boy confusion too?? whos gonna annoyingly tell me to be quiet during a business meeting or to get to work on something?? im gonna be so lost kayden:( ugh. you suck for graduating. couldnt you get held back just like 3 times?? please please pleaseee:P haha its okay i guess. im really proud of you thoigh kiddo, you made it to the bigleagues! :)
well i hope you and shawna are doing perfect! i really like her. she knows how to cheer me up & you know thats always a plus in my book! lol and shes really nice and a great personality:D good luck with her kayden!(:
um idk theres something weird about me these days, like im always happy. always. like really honestly perfectly happy! :) its great!
but to be truthful kayden, youre the only one that knows this but i still think about france every now and then. and it only makes me dislike him more. how could he say he loves me and literally the next day, its all flipped around?? none of it was real to him. but oh kayden, it was very real to me. and he just didnt care. its whatever though. i understand everything happens for a reason. and trust me, my standards are going to be set muchh higher this year! :p haha
oh oh oh! about the talent show this year! yeah thanks so much for letting me use one of your guitars! i really wanna learn a song and play it there(: i figure im leaving anyways so i might as well go out with a bang! yeah sure im not the greatest singer but im praying to God im not that bad! im not THAT bad right?? like honestly? dont let me go out there and make a fool of myself! lol
well kayden, i hope ive caught you up here! i love you very much and i mss you insanely! its not even funny! come and visit and go swimming as SOON as you get back! okay?(:
yeahp so i love you! kay bye:)
love always,
sylvana:D
Im so very sorry ive been slacking up on this. idk why considering i havent done ANYTHING this summer! while youre out traveling the world! haha i hope thats working out great for you(: ii cant go to sleep. i just got all teary-eyed cause my mind flashed back to your last day of school and how sad i was:/ then youre party:( aww. i cant believe youre leaving. whyd i have to meet you in your SENIOR year?? thats so lame/: well i know ive already made you promise this but promise me you wont forget about me back here in boring old victorville while youre out living your life? okay thats wrong cause im moving in january. to upland/alta loma! can you believe it?? im so excited, you have no idea! im going to go to a regularrrr school! with regularrr clothes:D and a homecoming! and a football team! and ahhhhh!!(: haha
umm well my brothers in town!! it was great seeing him after like 5 years! it was like meeting him for the first time cause we've both changed so much since we were 10! obviously. lol he's such a dork kayden. i would imagine you 2 would get along. hes just like me, except in boy version. hes weird and funny and odd and akward at times and always happy and random and lots of fun! (: i love that kid! but hes going home in 2 days:( already...
anyways, so now to my forever-lasting boy problems. like always, haha. okay well me&missa do not talk. like ever. and when we do, im like super shortworded and boring and idk why. but he notices it. i havent talked to him on the phone for a week. i think im afraid of what will be said. mmm idk. i hate when i think i like a boy so much, then its just gone. i hate that about myself kayden. whats wrong with me?? grrrrr.
umm so ive been talking a whole bunch to mitchell. hes a sweetheart and its weird cause he acts more like a boyfriend than missa does. but anyways, hes like a really good friend now and im really happy about that. cause you know me, i hate having girl friends:p lol but yeah, he makes me laugh alot. over text! which is really rare(:
hm me&domo are really good friends again! i was kinda getting worried that summer was making us grow apart but we're good again. we talk alot again so im pretty happy:)
and okay so this whole thing happened at johannas quince with this guy, armando. like i told him nothing was happening cause he lives down the hill and it just wouldnt work. and he said he understood. apparently he does not>:/ because im pretty sure he has sam and natasha sympathizing for him. and it annoys me so bad. like hes really sweet and all, when i post mad statuses on facebook he'll ask me whats wrong. and he'll dedicate songs to me and stuff. but hes doing exactly what i told him shouldnt happen! urg.
well, im debating on my car right now. i was going to get a white lexus, but the gas is super expensive! but it also would fit 5 people. so i could take my sisters places and stuff. or im getting a white MR2 which would be great! the gas would be amazingly cheap and its a really nice car but it only fits 2 and i would need to fit at least 3! hmm idk. both of the cars are practically mine already. my nanas lexus and my dads MR2:) great cars if you ask me. then again, we cant all have bmw's mr.richy rich:P lol
oh one of my really close friends juan ortiz, i think you remember stories ive told you about him (he was trying to get at me while i was talking to france then he got a gf and stuff?) lol, yeah well hes going to UCR so you should look after him for me! hes a troublemaker! aha
oh gosh kayden, it just hit me. that dumbass (forgive my language) francisco is gonna be in asb next year. with me. without you. who am i supposed to talk to next to the cupboard?? whos gonna tell it to 'shhh shhh' when it gets too loud?? who am i supposed to tell all my boy confusion too?? whos gonna annoyingly tell me to be quiet during a business meeting or to get to work on something?? im gonna be so lost kayden:( ugh. you suck for graduating. couldnt you get held back just like 3 times?? please please pleaseee:P haha its okay i guess. im really proud of you thoigh kiddo, you made it to the bigleagues! :)
well i hope you and shawna are doing perfect! i really like her. she knows how to cheer me up & you know thats always a plus in my book! lol and shes really nice and a great personality:D good luck with her kayden!(:
um idk theres something weird about me these days, like im always happy. always. like really honestly perfectly happy! :) its great!
but to be truthful kayden, youre the only one that knows this but i still think about france every now and then. and it only makes me dislike him more. how could he say he loves me and literally the next day, its all flipped around?? none of it was real to him. but oh kayden, it was very real to me. and he just didnt care. its whatever though. i understand everything happens for a reason. and trust me, my standards are going to be set muchh higher this year! :p haha
oh oh oh! about the talent show this year! yeah thanks so much for letting me use one of your guitars! i really wanna learn a song and play it there(: i figure im leaving anyways so i might as well go out with a bang! yeah sure im not the greatest singer but im praying to God im not that bad! im not THAT bad right?? like honestly? dont let me go out there and make a fool of myself! lol
well kayden, i hope ive caught you up here! i love you very much and i mss you insanely! its not even funny! come and visit and go swimming as SOON as you get back! okay?(:
yeahp so i love you! kay bye:)
love always,
sylvana:D
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Secondhand Serenade--
"Vulnerable"
Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
Because it's cold outside, cold outside, it's cold outside
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because it's cold inside, cold inside, it's cold inside
[Pre-chorus:]
And you're slowly shaking finger tips
Show that you're scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care
[Chorus:]
Tell me, tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
I was born to tell you I love you
Isn't that a song already?
I get a B in originality
And it's true I can't go on without you
Your smile makes me see clearer
If you could only see in the mirror what I see
[Pre-chorus]
[Chorus]
Slow down girl -- you're not going anywhere
Just wait around and see
Maybe I am much more you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything
Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need
[Chorus]
Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
Because it's cold outside, cold outside, it's cold outside
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because it's cold inside, cold inside, it's cold inside
[Pre-chorus:]
And you're slowly shaking finger tips
Show that you're scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care
[Chorus:]
Tell me, tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
I was born to tell you I love you
Isn't that a song already?
I get a B in originality
And it's true I can't go on without you
Your smile makes me see clearer
If you could only see in the mirror what I see
[Pre-chorus]
[Chorus]
Slow down girl -- you're not going anywhere
Just wait around and see
Maybe I am much more you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything
Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need
[Chorus]
Vulnerable..?
I went to Universal Studios today. Thats right, i was in L.A. while you were in New York, life's so fair xP
i had alot of fun though!! i took pictures with my sisters:)
OMG i ate sooooooo much!!! dont believe me?
i ate; 4 pieces of chicken strips, an order of french fries, half a huge chocolate chip cookie, a whole mini apple pie!, some pasta salad, a ceasar salad, a couple bites of pizza, a cinabon stix, and a bowl of DELICIOUS banana chocolate mousse:D lol
omg im a fat little piggy. my mom and dad were making fun of me and saying that i'll never be able to eat out on a date cause the guy would never call me for a second one. lmao!
well i didnt talk to franny today. or missa. or alexis. or nelson. or montana. i had a relaxing day:)
but anyways, i hope youre having an amazing time in new york and that youre living it up out there exploring the U.S. Love You:D
i had alot of fun though!! i took pictures with my sisters:)
OMG i ate sooooooo much!!! dont believe me?
i ate; 4 pieces of chicken strips, an order of french fries, half a huge chocolate chip cookie, a whole mini apple pie!, some pasta salad, a ceasar salad, a couple bites of pizza, a cinabon stix, and a bowl of DELICIOUS banana chocolate mousse:D lol
omg im a fat little piggy. my mom and dad were making fun of me and saying that i'll never be able to eat out on a date cause the guy would never call me for a second one. lmao!
well i didnt talk to franny today. or missa. or alexis. or nelson. or montana. i had a relaxing day:)
but anyways, i hope youre having an amazing time in new york and that youre living it up out there exploring the U.S. Love You:D
Monday, June 14, 2010
All Time Lows.
wow what a day. i woke up early to go conditioning for soccer again. blehhhhhh. lol then i got home and layed in bed the whole day! :D haha i didnt go to sleep though cause i was busy talking to juan and franny.
juan wanted to know what i thought about nelson. cause nelson told him that he liked me but he didnt think he had a chance.
idk if i do like him or not. i mean he's super funny and sweet and easy to talk to but he doesnt..."keep the flame alive" (remember remember? lol) idk.
franny; i love him . nothing else to it. but i'm just at a crossroads right now. i was thinking. the kind of love that me and franny have is like old married love. not young crazy sweet love. like we fight like an old married couple instead of like the cute gestures that teenagers do these days. and i'm not sure that thats what i want you know?
alexis; he texted me this morning and we were talking and i'm pretty sure he wanted to come over. and at one point i told him he was crazy and he said 'maybe just crazy over you:)' he's such a flirt. lol dont worry i'm not taking anything he says to heart or to mind. you taught me better than that:)
missa; i texted him today. i asked him if we could talk. lots of things were said. and i'm still talking to him so technically theyre still being said. i told him the truth. not the lies i've been telling everyone. including you. so i'll tell you the truth now kayden. i didnt wanna end things with missa because of franny. i really liked missa. alot. and it scared me that i was starting to like him so much, so fast. especially cause vahan told me that he knew what missa was like, and that he wasn't the long relationship type so i was stupid and believed him. and i freaked out and guarded myself up like i always do. because i didnt wanna get hurt. and i didnt want anyone else to know that it was going to hurt me that bad. because ive always wanted people to think i was strong. but kayden, i keep replaying that night with him. that night at the fair. and how it felt to have his arms wrapped around me and my hand in his. ugh kayden idk what i did. idk what i'm doing. i love franny, i really do. but i miss missa. and i think thats taking away from me LIKING franny. idk how to explain it. i'm so screwed up. and i know youre reading this, shaking your head and probably thinking how stupid i am. but ugh. and now he just asked me why i 'b.s d him the way i did' and then abruptly said he was getting offline. so now i'm stuck here simmering my mind trying to figure out what i will say when i talk to him next time..IF i talk to him next time. if he'll talk to me again. i just dont think i could possibly get up the nerves to tell him i miss him. or to tell anyone i miss him. but i do.
well i'm going to universal studios tomorrow so i better get some sleep.
i love you sir(:
juan wanted to know what i thought about nelson. cause nelson told him that he liked me but he didnt think he had a chance.
idk if i do like him or not. i mean he's super funny and sweet and easy to talk to but he doesnt..."keep the flame alive" (remember remember? lol) idk.
franny; i love him . nothing else to it. but i'm just at a crossroads right now. i was thinking. the kind of love that me and franny have is like old married love. not young crazy sweet love. like we fight like an old married couple instead of like the cute gestures that teenagers do these days. and i'm not sure that thats what i want you know?
alexis; he texted me this morning and we were talking and i'm pretty sure he wanted to come over. and at one point i told him he was crazy and he said 'maybe just crazy over you:)' he's such a flirt. lol dont worry i'm not taking anything he says to heart or to mind. you taught me better than that:)
missa; i texted him today. i asked him if we could talk. lots of things were said. and i'm still talking to him so technically theyre still being said. i told him the truth. not the lies i've been telling everyone. including you. so i'll tell you the truth now kayden. i didnt wanna end things with missa because of franny. i really liked missa. alot. and it scared me that i was starting to like him so much, so fast. especially cause vahan told me that he knew what missa was like, and that he wasn't the long relationship type so i was stupid and believed him. and i freaked out and guarded myself up like i always do. because i didnt wanna get hurt. and i didnt want anyone else to know that it was going to hurt me that bad. because ive always wanted people to think i was strong. but kayden, i keep replaying that night with him. that night at the fair. and how it felt to have his arms wrapped around me and my hand in his. ugh kayden idk what i did. idk what i'm doing. i love franny, i really do. but i miss missa. and i think thats taking away from me LIKING franny. idk how to explain it. i'm so screwed up. and i know youre reading this, shaking your head and probably thinking how stupid i am. but ugh. and now he just asked me why i 'b.s d him the way i did' and then abruptly said he was getting offline. so now i'm stuck here simmering my mind trying to figure out what i will say when i talk to him next time..IF i talk to him next time. if he'll talk to me again. i just dont think i could possibly get up the nerves to tell him i miss him. or to tell anyone i miss him. but i do.
well i'm going to universal studios tomorrow so i better get some sleep.
i love you sir(:
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Already Gone...
I had drivers ed AGAIN today!! it was way more boring than yesterday and i wanted to just shoot myslelf!! at break, i walked to the liquor store and this guy from my class stopped next to me and i was like 'things are really akward here. no one knoes anyone else.' and he said 'well i'm xavier' and i said 'well i'm sylvana' and he said 'now you know someone. let me make sure i have your name right, sylvana?' and i said yeah but that he would forget it by lunch. then i walked away. and just like that, he wouldnt freaking leave me alone the WHOLE CLASS!!! but my mom came at lunch with some kfc and i ate in the car with amanda and anyssa (amanda had stayed the night) so i didnt have to be a loner at lunch again:)
right after class, i had to go to quince practice. it was pretty fun but my phone was dead so i didnt get to talk to anyone until i got home at 7:(
then i just relaxed but stayed up late talking to MONTANA:) i missed that boy. but it got kinda akward when he tole me that he was an idiot for letting me go and i was his dream girl and i was perfect and all this. it makes me so mad that bpys lose me then just want a second chance cause they realize they were 'idiots'. dumb boys. lol'
well ILOVE YOU:D
right after class, i had to go to quince practice. it was pretty fun but my phone was dead so i didnt get to talk to anyone until i got home at 7:(
then i just relaxed but stayed up late talking to MONTANA:) i missed that boy. but it got kinda akward when he tole me that he was an idiot for letting me go and i was his dream girl and i was perfect and all this. it makes me so mad that bpys lose me then just want a second chance cause they realize they were 'idiots'. dumb boys. lol'
well ILOVE YOU:D
Saturday, June 12, 2010
California Girl:)
Bleh nothing but driving school today!! It was sooooooo boring and i didnt know anyone so i was a complete loner!! at the breaks AND at lunch. but it will be worth it when i'm driving down the road with the wind in my hair:D lol
i got home and hung out with amanda belmudes and my sister. we played sing it and danced and sang to a bunch of karaoke on youtube!! me and amanda sound really good together when we sing lucky by colbie callait and jason mraz:)
then i had to go to sleep early. bleh:( lol
didnt really talk to anyone today. double blah. haha
IloveYOU!!
i got home and hung out with amanda belmudes and my sister. we played sing it and danced and sang to a bunch of karaoke on youtube!! me and amanda sound really good together when we sing lucky by colbie callait and jason mraz:)
then i had to go to sleep early. bleh:( lol
didnt really talk to anyone today. double blah. haha
IloveYOU!!
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