All Time Lows.

wow what a day. i woke up early to go conditioning for soccer again. blehhhhhh. lol then i got home and layed in bed the whole day! :D haha i didnt go to sleep though cause i was busy talking to juan and franny.
juan wanted to know what i thought about nelson. cause nelson told him that he liked me but he didnt think he had a chance.
idk if i do like him or not. i mean he's super funny and sweet and easy to talk to but he doesnt..."keep the flame alive" (remember remember? lol) idk.
franny; i love him . nothing else to it. but i'm just at a crossroads right now. i was thinking. the kind of love that me and franny have is like old married love. not young crazy sweet love. like we fight like an old married couple instead of like the cute gestures that teenagers do these days. and i'm not sure that thats what i want you know?
alexis; he texted me this morning and we were talking and i'm pretty sure he wanted to come over. and at one point i told him he was crazy and he said 'maybe just crazy over you:)' he's such a flirt. lol dont worry i'm not taking anything he says to heart or to mind. you taught me better than that:)
missa; i texted him today. i asked him if we could talk. lots of things were said. and i'm still talking to him so technically theyre still being said. i told him the truth. not the lies i've been telling everyone. including you. so i'll tell you the truth now kayden. i didnt wanna end things with missa because of franny. i really liked missa. alot. and it scared me that i was starting to like him so much, so fast. especially cause vahan told me that he knew what missa was like, and that he wasn't the long relationship type so i was stupid and believed him. and i freaked out and guarded myself up like i always do. because i didnt wanna get hurt. and i didnt want anyone else to know that it was going to hurt me that bad. because ive always wanted people to think i was strong. but kayden, i keep replaying that night with him. that night at the fair. and how it felt to have his arms wrapped around me and my hand in his. ugh kayden idk what i did. idk what i'm doing. i love franny, i really do. but i miss missa. and i think thats taking away from me LIKING franny. idk how to explain it. i'm so screwed up. and i know youre reading this, shaking your head and probably thinking how stupid i am. but ugh. and now he just asked me why i 'b.s d him the way i did' and then abruptly said he was getting offline. so now i'm stuck here simmering my mind trying to figure out what i will say when i talk to him next time..IF i talk to him next time. if he'll talk to me again. i just dont think i could possibly get up the nerves to tell him i miss him. or to tell anyone i miss him. but i do.
well i'm going to universal studios tomorrow so i better get some sleep.
i love you sir(: